Feb 21, 2014

A New Year.

This post comes a little late, but hopefully it will be a great reminder to keep going when now is the time that most New Years resolutions seem to waver.
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     I've been thinking a lot about this new year 2014 and what I want to say at the end of it. Hasn't everyone? The beginning of the year has this habit of lifting peoples spirits. It gives people the gumption to say, "hey last year was rough, but no biggie, this year is going to be fabulous! I've got these 75 goals that are going to set me on track and make me into that new and improved version of myself that I've always wanted to be!"
     So in response 100 more people hit your gym in January and February and everyone likes to make comments about how empty it will feel come March when the sparkle of New Years Resolutions wear off. What is it that drives people to make goals?
     I'll be honest, I've made goals at the beginning of this year just like almost everyone else. What really irks me is the fact that this is now the third year in a row that I've made the same goals. That should be telling in and of itself. I'm definitely one of "those" people who crowds the gym in the hopes of working off those extra pounds. I'm one of "those" people who makes outlandish goals that are unattainable and often unrealistic. And I'm definitely one of "those" people who feels guilty when I don't do what I said I would do and so I start counting down the days until the next year when I can start over and set new unreachable goals (because goals can only start at the beginning of the year). I'm hopeless!
     And yet, I still want to make goals! I believe that God created people to grow and continue growing. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and especially spiritually. I definitely don't want to look back at my year and have regrets or guilt or find that I've stayed the same. That doesn't mean that sometimes things will happen that will set me back, it just means I want to always see improvement even if its so minuscule that some might call it trite.
     But in that same vain, I can't "Just do it," and honestly that has to be one of my least favorite phrases. It never seems to help. I'm not one of those driven people who can just go after something relentlessly until it's conquered. If anything I need someone to constantly remind me of the goals I've set. Someone who is that pest you can't stand, but can't get rid of because you asked them to help! I need that accountability.
     I want to come to the end of 2014 just like everyone else, happy that when I look back I did the things I said I would do. With that in mind, I want goals that aren't so outrageous and impossible. I want goals that truly benefit me in the fact that they are molding and shaping me into a better Christ-follower. A more ardent worshiper. I more loving wife. A more selfless friend and sister.
     If I were to create a mantra that I would repeat over and over to myself the rest of this year, it would be this:
I want to strive after true perseverance and learn to give myself grace when things don't end the way I think they should. 
     So I've set goals, I've reevaluated what I'm asking myself. I've come down to a list of things that I really want to pursue. My problem now isn't that I don't have enough goals or that they are too unachievable, my problem is that I need someone to help me persevere. And I need someone to remind me that accepting grace is necessary and more than okay.


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