Trusting God: What do you do when your head says one thing and your heart screams another?

     I've been seriously pondering this question and I'm pleading with God to provide more clarity. It's true that our head is there to make the smart, unemotional and calculated decisions at times, but what is it about the heart and its passions that makes it so hard not to make decisions from gut feelings? And how do you know which is right? How do you know that choosing one is best over choosing the other? Its a predicament filled with angst I tell you!
     Gray and I want to be exactly where God would have us. We so want to be doing the things God is calling us to. We so want our lives and our passions to be informed by God and his gospel. And we so wish his speaking would be loud and clear! It's in these moments that I think, maybe His answer is clear, we just aren't listening.
     As of now, here is my conclusion, there are circumstances and choices surrounding each decision. It is worth taking a look at these things as well as your prayer life and what you were asking God to do to see how this answer fits into the grand scheme of things. I love these words from a dear friend. "Remember, YOU can't screw this up, God is in control." Whether choosing to go against your head or your heart is an act of trust. So Gray and I find ourselves trusting that God knows what decision we will make and that living for him means always being in His will. He directs our path. And even though it seems like this decision is "all on us," it isn't.
     Have you ever made a hard decision, one that inevitably meant going against either your head or your heart? I'd love to hear your stories.

He is With Us.

My sister is guest blogging today, and I don't need to say anything because she has a way of saying things beautifully all by herself. I hope you're encouraged as much as I was by reading this.

     As most of you know who have been following my lovely sisters blog, I was originally supposed to be her co-blogger, but with schedules and living 8 hours away we found it to be much more of a challenge then we originally anticipated! Instead, I now have the privilege of guest blogging! So thanks for letting me share a little of what I’m learning Jak!

     July 20^th marked the beginning of my 21^st year on this blessed earth and to say it was an interesting birthday is an understatement…

I always love birthdays. In our household they were always viewed as something to be cherished, a special day devoted to the “birthday girl.” And while I have never been able to bring cupcakes for my fellow classmates, I would not change by summer birthday for anything. I love having time off, free from anything to celebrate with my family. I love reflecting over the past year and rejoicing in the new year to come. 

     For me, this year marks the beginning of the end. I will be starting my final year of college and hopefully be an RN in a little over 10 months! (say what?!) It’s crazy to think this moment is fast approaching and with it brings a whole slew of things to consider.

     Where will I be in one year? What will my first job be? Will I still be in Xenia? Do I even want to be a nurse? But seriously, what am I doing with my life??

     I am a planner with a capital P so you can see my dilemma. The unknown makes me nervous. So naturally, I automatically plan for the worst possible outcomes. Let me say, not a good idea. It makes for an awful birthday, and year. I began to dread my upcoming classes, homework, responsibilities, dorm life, graduation, first job, and well yeah basically everything.

     But God really used my 21^st birthday to start to shake me out of this pattern of thinking. I was miserable on my birthday and rather than rejoicing I was wallowing, yes wallowing. What kind of birthday is that?? I was not finding my joy in Christ but rather placing my ability to be happy on whether or not I knew what the upcoming year held for me. I was not placing my trust in God to provide all the happiness I needed and allow him to be in control of what this upcoming year brings.

     The song He is With Us by Love and the Outcome continues to pop up in my playlist time and time again. And the lyrics go a little like this….

Remember when your hope is lost and faith is shaken
Remember when you wonder if you're gonna make it
There's a hand stretched out through your deepest doubt
We can't pretend to see the ending or what's coming up ahead
To know the story of tomorrow
But we can stay close to the One who knows

We can trust our God
He knows what He's doing
Though it might hurt now
We won't be ruined
It might seem there's an ocean in between
But He's holding on to you and me
And He's never gonna leave, no
He is with us, He is with us
Always, always
He is with us, He is with us
Always

We believe there is purpose, there is meaning in everything
We surrender to His leading
He wants nothing more than to have us close

     These lyrics have just really reminded me of the simple truth-God knows what he is doing. By placing my trust in him I can understand true joy. A joy grounded in the reality of what he did for me on the cross and continues to do even when I fail to trust him time and time again. Instead of always being caught up in knowing what is coming ahead, I need to be thankful for the place he has me in right now. And when I continue to make seeking him a priority, the details will fall into place. It might not always be the way I think it should be, but he is worthy of my trust. God has something for me no matter what the situation!

     And I know this seems like such a cliché thing to write about but it is such a reality because of the fallen world we live in. My prayer is for a joy found in Christ and an ability to turn complete control over to him. By doing this, I pray for an increased ability to look outwardly and love the people God has placed in my life. To be a living testimony of God’s love for me! 

- Francesca

In the midst of crazy.

     I find it hard to believe that the weekend already came and went. Sometimes life seems to go so slow, inching along at a snails pace while at other times it seems to race by. In those moments, all you can do is break for a short second to breath before running to the next thing. That was this weekend. A bunch of craziness packed into two days. Finally at the end of it, I find myself sitting on the couch while Gray watches the Braves game and Riggs goes to town on a bone, trying to take deep breaths and remember the special moments. It's so easy for me to get frazzled while in the rush and therefore miss out on the beauty of living.
      Tonight all three Summit Campuses came together to sing and worship God. I have to be honest, my heart wasn't really in it. My mind was shouting out all of my insecurities about getting up to lead worship, and I was tired. In the midst of my complaining, God graciously grabbed hold of my heart and gave it a little shake, releasing me from my bad attitude and giving me a different outlook.
     We sang a song titled "Oceans." It's pretty popular, but if you haven't heard it, you should go take a listen HERE. The bridge (if that's what it is) sings:

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters 
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

     This really struck me. It's an idea that I can say I truly long for, but haven't ever really asked for or sought after. So many times my trust in God is dependent on my own pre-conceived notions of when he "deserves" trust. Like when things are good and going the way I think they should, but what would it mean to trust him without limitations? I do pray that he would lead me where only he can. To places I dare not dream of because in my small frail human-ness, I don't know how I would ever handle them. But isn't that part of the sweetness of putting my trust in Christ? Knowing that no matter the outcome, no matter what life throws, I have a Savior who leads me deeper, who calls me outside of myself and pulls me towards Himself and the beauty of his presence. 
     So if you find yourself panting and tuckered out from this past weekend I hope that you can find a peaceful moment to catch your breath and reflect back on the beauty of living. And maybe like me you'll be able to find God in the midst of the crazy.