Jan 11, 2015

3 Months

Time stop, slow down, still for just a bit,
please ...
     It's a little past the actual day, but these were taken pretty close to the 27th of December so that's a win in my book! Three months, gah! It's going way too fast. He is changing so quickly and yet when you're in the thick of the day to day it doesn't seem like it. I'm trying to cherish every amazing smile. Every flirt. Every squeal. Every time he makes eye contact and recognizes who mum and dad are. Every noise. Every eye rub. Every snuggle. Every diaper change. Every bath. Every body massage. Every time he wraps his hand around my finger. Every thumb suck and yes even every cry. Who knew the biggest scariest weightiest responsibility of life could bring so much joy?! I feel so blessed, so in awe that God entrusted this precious tiny human into our care. I don't want to take the fleeting time I have with him for granted. I want to be purposeful and intentional with every moment. I find myself praying more frequently, even harder and with more urgency that this little life would realize who Jesus is and choose to follow Him. I pray that God would live through Gray and I so that Tobias grows to love the Lord and bring glory to Him. Does it ever get easier? That inward battle that can't wait to see who they become and yet yearns for them to stop growing for just a minute? I never thought I was sentimental ... and then he came along.

Beware: photo overload. I am a new mom and all ...

Aug 6, 2014

Cloth Diaper Thoughts

     My brain hurts. Who knew there were so many cloth diaper options? I mean, seriously. I just need someone to tell me what to do, I'm all ears! So far I've come to the conclusion that you just have to find what works best for you. The only issue with that advice is how do you go about finding what works best when you've never done it before? I mean where does a newbie start?
     I'm definitely looking to do cloth diapers for a couple of reasons. One, they are budget friendly. Two, they seem to be healthier for baby's bum, breathable, un-chemical, and helpful when potty training. Three, they are budget friendly. Can I say that again? They are cheaper! Too much? :) But with that being said (multiple times) I still want cloth diapers that are durable and low maintenance which includes being relatively easy to wash.
     With all those criteria in mind, I think I've settled on prefolds. Yes they take a little more time when actually diapering baby, but the washing seems more manageable to me, and besides being the cheapest cloth diaper option, the laundry process is a key factor! I'm bad at laundry on a good day, I don't need something that requires tons of extra steps and that takes forever to dry. I need a two wash cycle, dry in the dryer diaper and it seems like prefolds fit that bill.
     Now the question is, which prefold? Gosh, I think my eyes are permanently crossed from reading 20 or so blogs and articles on this topic for the past three hours. And reading reviews really screws up your thinking. No one diaper is 100% recommended. China or India? Bleached or unbleached? 100% cotton or some with polyester? One size or multiple sizes? Hmm on a normal pregnancy night this dilemma would call for a huge milkshake. Unfortunately that can't happen (due to my horrible decision to forgo sugar) so I'll sip my water instead and vigorously pin all of these articles to my growing "Cloth Diaper" board. On a more positive note, my mom has a friend whose daughter uses prefolds, I have acquired her number in the hopes of getting some of my questions answered!
     Even though this night seems frustrating, I have to say it has been enlightening. I haven't reached a decision yet, but I feel myself getting closer. Closer is good, closer is progress, and progress means that my inner nesting self that tends to get freaked out can tone down for the time being. 33 weeks, I still have time to make a decision and purchase what I need. Not tons of time, but enough.
     Writing all of this is definitely making me think I need to reign in the overwhelmed portion of myself before it gets out of hand. Having a baby isn't going to limit the amount of decisions I will need to make. If anything, it will add more to my plate! So learning to manage these decisions in a one step at a time fashion is a must. In my opinion, this means the research part of this decision is pretty much covered, time to move on to another phase! So with that in mind, I think I will hangup the cloth diaper topic for tonight and lift my glass of water in the air and make a toast. Here's to tomorrow, hopefully some sleep and a conversation with a knowledgable cloth diapering mom will provide some clarity.

Aug 5, 2014

Trusting God: What do you do when your head says one thing and your heart screams another?

     I've been seriously pondering this question and I'm pleading with God to provide more clarity. It's true that our head is there to make the smart, unemotional and calculated decisions at times, but what is it about the heart and its passions that makes it so hard not to make decisions from gut feelings? And how do you know which is right? How do you know that choosing one is best over choosing the other? Its a predicament filled with angst I tell you!
     Gray and I want to be exactly where God would have us. We so want to be doing the things God is calling us to. We so want our lives and our passions to be informed by God and his gospel. And we so wish his speaking would be loud and clear! It's in these moments that I think, maybe His answer is clear, we just aren't listening.
     As of now, here is my conclusion, there are circumstances and choices surrounding each decision. It is worth taking a look at these things as well as your prayer life and what you were asking God to do to see how this answer fits into the grand scheme of things. I love these words from a dear friend. "Remember, YOU can't screw this up, God is in control." Whether choosing to go against your head or your heart is an act of trust. So Gray and I find ourselves trusting that God knows what decision we will make and that living for him means always being in His will. He directs our path. And even though it seems like this decision is "all on us," it isn't.
     Have you ever made a hard decision, one that inevitably meant going against either your head or your heart? I'd love to hear your stories.

Jul 31, 2014

A Little Maternity Shoot.

     Photo credit goes to Melody Cato, she so kindly took these shots while she was here last week! I'm so happy with how they turned out, they will be fun to look back on no matter how big I look. ;) P.S. I'm not the most confident person in front of the camera, I'm sure many of you can relate!
     I'm currently 32 weeks which means I have roughly 8-10 weeks to go, thats considerably less considering the 40 you start out with. Am I nervous? Sure, but I try not to think about it. The nursery is coming along just fine and my classes are preparing me as best as possible. Knowledge is power, that's the mantra I keep repeating to myself. The more I know the more relaxed I feel about bringing this little boy into the world. Here's to hoping all that knowledge doesn't get thrown out the window when the day of reckoning arrives! Second mantra I keep repeating, women give birth everyday, and they live to tell about it. Concrete evidence right there that I can do it!
     I have a couple more projects to finish before Baby Cato makes his grand entrance, and I'm starting to get that nesting itch thats telling me to knock them out sooner rather than later. So hopefully this next week I will have all of my crib sheets sewn and all of the baby clothes washed, sorted, and labeled, and a good grasp on meal planning for the after baby months. I need to make returns from the shower and purchase cloth diapers (yes, I'm one of the crazy ones). I'm also trying to schedule relatives as best as can be done without knowing when this little one will arrive. I'm hoping to spread out the help as long as possible! A couple other things to take care of; find a pediatrician (I need to ask some Greenville mommas who they recommend) and create the birth announcement so that all that needs to be done is a quick picture insert and some easy printing, the stamps are bought and the address list is put together. Hmm writing this list is making me slightly anxious, I hope I'm not forgetting anything . . .
     In other news, Gray and I have decided to do something a little crazy. I've been giving into my sweet tooth a little too much (as in a lot too much). So in an effort to help myself and Baby Cato now, and my future postpartum self, I will attempt to fast from sugar for the rest of my pregnancy. Crazy idea? Most definitely. Attainable? I'm going to try my darn hardest. I am allowing honey for tea and for my morning oatmeal, I'm really just looking to eliminate all those ice cream runs and candy binges! Wish me luck!
     Anything else to tell? I think I've covered most everything. . . so without further ado, the happy expectant couple! hehe :)