Biltmore

This post is less about Biltmore than it is about our two year anniversary which happened to be two weeks ago on September 17th. I'm just now getting to this post because one I feel like there is so much to say and yet I didn't really know how I wanted to say it. Two, Biltmore was the "formal" celebration of said anniversary, so why not wait till after our trip to write about it.

     At this time last year Gray and I were sitting across the table from one another at La Parpardella staring out the window at the cobbled streets in Spain. We were thoroughly enjoying our Italian food (because anything that wasn't Mercedes' food was amazing) while reflecting back on everything that had occurred during out first year of marriage. We counted ourselves quite lucky, we were living in Spain, taking every opportunity to enjoy our surroundings and to see other countries and we were finishing school in December. The world lay at our fingertips and our lives were just starting. Even though Spain had it's difficulties, that didn't mean we weren't optimistic about the future. 

     Fast forward to this past weekend as we made our way to Asheville, not quite the celebration trip Gray had imagined, but that in and of itself truly represents out relationship at this point; learning. There's a give and take we are still trying to figure out. We've officially moved past the honeymoon phase and this past year has presented new challenges we have had to learn how to overcome as a couple. 

     We arrived home from Spain and had two weeks with our sweet families before loading up the u-haul and moving all of our crap (which we have too much of ... how did we collect so much in one year or marriage?) to South Carolina. Gray had gotten a job at Summit Church as one of their campus worship pastors so with that taken care of, it was time for me to follow suit. But it wasn't that easy. We knew Gray's income would make due alongside the funds that we had saved up, but it wouldn't cover us forever. For Gray, this knowledge was slightly more stressful than for me, you could say I'm not the most money conscious person. So we made the smart decision to get a dog during that time. [Rabbit trail ...We always knew we wanted a dog, maybe two, so why not get started while one of us was at home? That way it could be quickly crate and potty trained. Eh, it sounds logical but no one tells you how stinking expensive man's best friend can be. We lucked out in that Riggs has a great personality, but jeez the allergies! Those doctor visits really add up.] So with three mouths to feed instead of two we were hoping for something. On Valentines day our stress was eliminated, I started work at a great company. Obstacle one down! 

     Come March we had gotten into the swing of things and we were super excited because our best friends were getting married in Cleveland. It was our first time seeing friends and family since moving. The positive, it was a great refreshing trip, the negative, it made us realize how much we valued and how much we were lacking those types of relationships in Greenville. So we started praying that God would provide people we could connect with. I know you have to give this time, but for someone as socially wired as Gray it can be a hard wait. Little by little through Monday Night Crew and through sheer will power to stick ourselves out there, we are making strides. I wouldn't say we've overcome this obstacle, but we're working on it!

     So moving through to May, the grind and normalcy of adult life finally set in. My heart was in a rough place and I started to grumble and complain. My free spirit felt trapped behind a boring desk at an eight to five job, so I became a constant thorn in Grayson's side. I couldn't say one positive thing about my job, it was all "horrible," I hated everything. I quickly learned if you're always looking for the negative, you will find it (something Gray learned last year). I don't know what it was that finally kicked me in the gut, but slowly I started dying to myself. I realized that God had provided this job for our family and even though if might be for an indefinable season of my life, he was calling me towards more than a life of protest. Cue the apologies. Obstacle three down!

     Around the same time, Gray decided to go back to school. If anyone were to tell Gray more school was in his future I would have laughed. He was so adamantly opposed which is why it came as such a surprise when he decided to get his MDiv. It definitely added a whole new layer to our lives but in thinking about the future and how we plan on supporting ourselves and future kids should we have them, he wanted to make sure we were moving in the right direction. So he learned to manage two jobs, a dog, his sanity and after all that he still finds time for me. Obstacle four down!
     It probably seems like this year has been an endless challenge (I use that word loosely knowing that others have faced way worse), but there have been so many good things in the midst of the muck. Gray and I have continued to grow. Moving away from family was one of the best things for us. It was kinda like spreading our wings for the first time since being married. The decisions we made were our own and the challenges we faced we faced together. We had to have the important discussions without relying on anyone else to carry the weight of  tough decisions but each other. It's made me extremely grateful. I've realized just how selfless Gray can be and just how selfish I can be (and vice verse). I don't think Gray and I went into marriage with fancy illusions, but a realistic attitude doesn't necessarily save you from everything. There will inevitably be issues uncovered and eventually your flaws will be unmasked. So thank goodness for grace!
     I look back over this past year and feel empowered, Christ revealed himself to Gray and I in so many ways. I've continued to learn so much about myself and our relationship and I've continued to grow. I think I'm just as excited if not more excited to continue along this road. I love you Gray, life would look bleak without you in it! Here's to 80 more years (ha, maybe for you, but not for me)!

     This post wasn't meant to be so extremely long, but because so much happens in a year I guess it was unavoidable.