Bringing baby Well's home.

Well's second week of life Nana and Poppa came to visit.

(she's the best Nana my kids could have, so selfless and generous)

     We spent more time on the porch and even went to church! Gray wanted a female singer and since I had someone to hold the baby (thanks Nana) I obliged.

(I think my pictures make it seem like this kid can never keep his clothes on)

     This was the week the epic tantrums and meltdowns started. I think the fact that this new baby wasn't leaving, finally hit home. Ty was in desperate need of some extra attention. We even had to stop the car to administer a spanking at one point. It seemed like Gray and I were constantly looking at each other and asking "what have we done?!" If only you could explain to an almost two year old how special it is to have a sibling ...

(I look at these pictures and laugh, he didn't stay skinny for long!)

     He's getting the hang of it now and as that week went on I realized that taking intentional time away from Well's, to love on Tobias, directly translated to good behavior. He needed me to acknowledge that he still had a place, that I still love him, and that I wasn't neglecting him.

     As silly as it sounds it was during this week that I truly realized, parenting is no joke. I was also desperately wishing someone had written a manual. Tobias has had rough moments before then, don't get me wrong, but when you throw another kid into the mix everything gets a lot more complicated!

But, we made it! That week is over. Even though the tantrums and meltdowns continue on, and some days play out like scenarios from my worst nightmares the days come to an end, the weeks pass by and the babies grow up. And when I let that sink in I start praying really hard that God would give me grace on those days. That on those days my children would see Him and not me.

(Our attempt to get a good family picture will continue, Ty will cooperate one day...)

     I want to take every moment and cherish it. I want to model and express with genuine honesty the importance of Christ. I hope my kids leave home knowing what Christ means to me and what living a life for Him looks like. Beautiful, messy, real, full of grace and mercy, full of forgiveness and love. I want them to know that living life to it's fullest means being rooted in the one who created and brought that life into existence. All else fades.

Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, 

and the darkness has not overcome it. -John 1:3-5

As I sat here.

     As I sat here and edited these images I was overcome with thankfulness. In a time of uncertainty when Grayson and I are looking for and praying for direction and clarity it is so easy to forget what we have and enjoy. So instead we complain about what we don't have and in turn cultivate spirits of discontent. I don't want that, I want to forever be in awe of what God provides, because even if the bills are piling high and the job isn't quite what we thought, he still provides and he will continue to do so. I can take whatever comes because he is my strength. And that is a truth I will choose to believe and the truth I will hitch my heart to. Because in seasons of plenty and in seasons of drought there is always something to be thankful for especially when God is bigger than your wildest dreams!!
     So as I look at these pictures I am thankful that my husband and I live in a free country. A country where we can enjoy walking safety around town. A place where be have the freedom to work and make money. A free nation that allows us to spend the money we make how we choose. I am thankful for a husband who takes walks with me even though he could think of a trillion other ways to spend his time. I am thankful for food and the tastebuds God has given me to enjoy it. I am thankful for water and the refreshment it provides, for sun and the way it lifts my spirits. For a dog who, though he annoys me, is a companion I cannot imagine living without.

     Grayson and I have been reading through Philippians as a part of our devotions together. There is so much to digest and be reminded of, but chapter 4 in particular has stood out to me.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let you gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and your minds in Christ Jesus. . . I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:4-7; 4:11-13 The Message)

     As I grow and become farther removed from college and the protection and shelter of my parents roof, I am awakened to just how unpredictable life is. Nothing is certain, nothing is secure. And as I realize this truth, I can't help but feel sadness for those who do not trust in God. Because going through life and the trials it brings would be hopeless without the meaning and security God offers. I can't do any of this through my own strength, but I can do it through him who gives me strength, and that gives my heart peace!

A New Year.

This post comes a little late, but hopefully it will be a great reminder to keep going when now is the time that most New Years resolutions seem to waver.

---

     I've been thinking a lot about this new year 2014 and what I want to say at the end of it. Hasn't everyone? The beginning of the year has this habit of lifting peoples spirits. It gives people the gumption to say, "hey last year was rough, but no biggie, this year is going to be fabulous! I've got these 75 goals that are going to set me on track and make me into that new and improved version of myself that I've always wanted to be!"
     So in response 100 more people hit your gym in January and February and everyone likes to make comments about how empty it will feel come March when the sparkle of New Years Resolutions wear off. What is it that drives people to make goals?
     I'll be honest, I've made goals at the beginning of this year just like almost everyone else. What really irks me is the fact that this is now the third year in a row that I've made the same goals. That should be telling in and of itself. I'm definitely one of "those" people who crowds the gym in the hopes of working off those extra pounds. I'm one of "those" people who makes outlandish goals that are unattainable and often unrealistic. And I'm definitely one of "those" people who feels guilty when I don't do what I said I would do and so I start counting down the days until the next year when I can start over and set new unreachable goals (because goals can only start at the beginning of the year). I'm hopeless!
     And yet, I still want to make goals! I believe that God created people to grow and continue growing. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and especially spiritually. I definitely don't want to look back at my year and have regrets or guilt or find that I've stayed the same. That doesn't mean that sometimes things will happen that will set me back, it just means I want to always see improvement even if its so minuscule that some might call it trite.
     But in that same vain, I can't "Just do it," and honestly that has to be one of my least favorite phrases. It never seems to help. I'm not one of those driven people who can just go after something relentlessly until it's conquered. If anything I need someone to constantly remind me of the goals I've set. Someone who is that pest you can't stand, but can't get rid of because you asked them to help! I need that accountability.
     I want to come to the end of 2014 just like everyone else, happy that when I look back I did the things I said I would do. With that in mind, I want goals that aren't so outrageous and impossible. I want goals that truly benefit me in the fact that they are molding and shaping me into a better Christ-follower. A more ardent worshiper. I more loving wife. A more selfless friend and sister.
     If I were to create a mantra that I would repeat over and over to myself the rest of this year, it would be this:

I want to strive after true perseverance and learn to give myself grace when things don't end the way I think they should. 

     So I've set goals, I've reevaluated what I'm asking myself. I've come down to a list of things that I really want to pursue. My problem now isn't that I don't have enough goals or that they are too unachievable, my problem is that I need someone to help me persevere. And I need someone to remind me that accepting grace is necessary and more than okay.

What I'm reading.

     I have the privilege of reading again, "Lies Women Believe," by Nancy Leigh DeMoss with some of the ladies in my life group. In an effort to be prepared for our first meeting, I was reading back though the introduction and came across this passage.

     As you look at your life, would you say you are experiencing the abundant life Jesus came to give? Or do you find yourself just existing, coping, struggling, surviving?
     I'm not asking if you have a trouble-free life. In fact, some of the most radiant, joyful women I know are women who are living in painfully difficult marriages; women who have wept at the graveside of a son or daughter; women who have been diagnosed with cancer or are caring for an elderly parent with Alzheimer's. But somehow, in the midst of the problems and the pain, they have discovered a source of life that enables them to walk through the valley with peace, confidence, and wholeness.

     I'm ready to be challenged again. I've gotten too complacent, just existing, I'm ready to live an abundant life and I'm so excited to start this journey with my life group ladies!

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened by a yolk of slavery. 

-Galatians 5:1

On my mind.

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Timothy.

     I've been a little preoccupied lately. Thinking. Sifting through thoughts and feelings. Reflecting.

        Gray and I have faced some tough situations and decisions and I'm feeling worn. Don't worry, it's nothing life altering or life destroying, just a little wind in the midst of our calm. It's the kind of week that tires you, but only because the forward step you are taking requires a little extra exertion. 

     In all honesty I feel a prevailing sense of thankfulness. God has placed some incredible people in our lives. It's caused me to question why I'm so surprised, why my faith in them was so small. Is this a reflection of how small my faith is in God? . . .
     In 1 Thessalonians 3, Paul writes, I have sent Timothy to "strengthen, comfort, and encourage you in your faith, so that you won't be shaken by the sufferings and wither under this stress that lies ahead (vs. 2-3). Timothy was sent to remind the Thessalonians who they'd placed their faith in, to encourage them to prevail through all of the temptations and testings that they were and would experience.
     This week I needed that reminder, I needed a Timothy. I was stressed, and even though we are now slowly getting back to normal I know there will be more stress up ahead because that's life, but God graciously provided several Timothy's that encouraged me in my faith. I was given much needed advice, listening ears, sensitive hearts, praying warriors, and prevailing love. I was challenged and encouraged through friends and family that though I am weak, His spirit is strong in me, I've been given faith to trust that God is good and his love is great regardless!

     Has God placed any Timothy's in your life to encourage you in your faith? Have you been a Timothy to someone this week?